


A Mission

by CarnalCoast



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: Canon Compliant, Developing Relationship, M/M, Post-Canon, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-08
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-21 19:58:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3703581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarnalCoast/pseuds/CarnalCoast
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I’m sure Jude will wait for you—even if he doesn’t realize he’s waiting, he will."</p>
<p>Before the group departs to the Land of Canaan, Milla has a talk with Alvin about something he's been hoping to avoid. (Spoilers for ToX2 True Ending)</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Mission

**Author's Note:**

> So this was written entirely because of how much I believe in asexual & aromantic Milla who cares for her boys more than anything. Yeah, I want more of that. Also, this ship is eating me alive.

After Julius was dead and the Land of Canaan was finally reachable, an enduring air of stagnancy began following the party. They knew the end of their journey was so much nearer—Elle was just around the corner—but the events leading up to it couldn’t be simply forgotten or pushed aside. Ludger was especially sullen—with good reason—and they collectively decided to take a reprieve before departing to save Elle; they needed to be fully prepared, after all. Not to mention, allowing Ludger to take out his sorrow and anger on elite monsters seemed like a good way to go.

It was a week after Julius’s death when Milla approached Alvin. They were staying at an inn in Xian Du, but no matter how far they traveled from Marksburg, they knew they’d be forced to return eventually—it was inevitable. They were more than strong enough already, and Canaan was constantly on everyone’s minds.

“Do you mind if I have a word with you?” With her usual no-nonsense tone, she caught him just outside the inn, where he stood looking down at the river below in contemplation. It was night, and the others were assumedly sleeping or in their rooms already. Recognizing the seriousness in her voice, Alvin couldn’t help but feel a twinge of trepidation, though he threw her a casual smile.

“What’s wrong? Getting cold feet right before the final throwdown?” She only sent him a pointed look at his teasing, settling beside him to lean against the rock ledge.

“Yes, precisely.” At that, Alvin muffled a small burst of laughter, and she smiled jokingly. “You know me so well. Anyway, I came to talk to you about something important.”

“It’s always something important, isn’t it?” He countered, words tinted with weariness but covering it up with a smirk. “Let me guess—this is about what’s going to happen to everyone when this is all over?”

She looked to him with a flicker of surprise in her eyes before nodding appreciatively. “...I have a request for you—” She closed her eyes, turning to face the water. “No, not a request. A mission.”

“A... mission?” Alvin brushed his hand through his hair, unsure. “You know, I’m not a mercenary anymore. Not that I’m not up for odd jobs, but...”

“It is not something so impersonal.” She turned back to him with an air of severity, and he grimaced before finally meeting her eyes. “You know I’m going to be gone after this.”

Not saying anything, he simply nodded. He’d assumed so—if they succeeded, that is.

Milla made sure they were making eye contact before she continued—a habit of hers that kept Alvin on edge every time. “When that time comes, I wish for you to take care of Jude for me. I know you will do this, but I’m just making sure.”

“...Woah there, slow down.” Truthfully, Alvin didn’t know what to make of it, and turned his body towards her in attention. “What do you mean, ‘take care of Jude’? That kid is fully capable of taking care of himself—hell, in the year you’ve been gone, you’ve seen how much he’s accomplished. He’s gonna be well off, Milla.”

“I have no worries about his worldly achievements or ability to make a living—I have faith that he’s capable in that area. I simply wish for you to be for him what I, as a spirit, cannot be. You’re the only one who can do this, Alvin.” Not surprisingly, Milla had such a stoic, precise way of saying things that all Alvin could do is meet her stare with a level head. He knew she was serious about this—whatever ‘this’ was—so he’d at least take her words with a grain of salt, as she’d done for him in the past.

“...Well, what exactly do you mean by that? As a spirit, what can you ‘not be’ for him? You’re practically everything to the kid, already—I see no problem here. He’ll be fine, carrying on with the knowledge that you’re watching over us.” He expected a look of appreciation for his efforts to be straight with her, but only got another stern stare—he could practically feel his eye twitch.

“Human relationships are rather complicated—I feel that no matter what, as a spirit, I’ll never be able to fully understand them. Just as, no matter how much research is done, you humans will never fully understand what it feels like to be a spirit, and the feelings spirits may experience when interacting with humans. We are the same, but very different as well—it’s something I’ve come to realize throughout my experiences with you all. Jude is enamored with me, but I feel as if he’s led himself down a path with a dead end.”

To hear such grave words come out of her mouth shocked Alvin for a split second, though he soon managed to reply evenly. “...Hey, he knows he’s not gonna be able to be in a regular relationship with you. You’re _the_ Lord of Spirits, after all—he knew what he was getting into. He’ll be fine.” Unfortunately, his second attempt at consolation didn’t garner him any brownie points, either, and that put him even more on edge, his expression turning concerned at her silence. “...Are we on the same page here?”

“Clearly not.” Alvin sighed lightly through his nose, but Milla carried on determinedly regardless. “That word—relationship. We all use it, but it means something different to each person, it seems. Humans tend to use it in a romantic sense, I’ve found.”

With that, Alvin’s eyelids finally lifted slightly in recognition. “...Let me guess—Jude obviously has a crush on you, and you’re incapable of feeling romantic love towards him?”

“You’re finally catching on, I see.” She smiled teasingly at him, before her mouth hardened into a thoughtful line. “I care for him deeply—I love all humans, yes. And with him, it is different—stronger. But I can tell it isn’t the same as the romantic relationships that humans form with each other—spirits have a different way of feeling. I surmise this is partially what has made it so difficult for humans and spirits to coexist harmoniously in the past, whether those spirits and humans knew of these differences or not.” Her thoughts turned to Celsius, though she quickly moved on. “I believe Jude understands this as well, though it still worries me that he would forbid himself from experiencing a romantic, human relationship simply because of his pining for me.”

Her eyes met Alvin’s again—they were sparkling, finally not so tenacious. “...Well, I suppose that worry is the most human thing about me, isn’t it?”

The corner of his mouth twitched, though his mind was racing nonstop with all of the information suddenly being loaded on it. He managed to open his mouth, and his voice sounded wearier than he intended it to. “I... Tell me why you’re telling me this.”

She tilted her head slightly, and the action almost seemed motherly to him. “You know already, don’t you? I am aware of how you feel for him.”

“How _I_...” For some reason, the words simply couldn’t get out, and Alvin’s eyes darted to the side—her bringing up feelings that he never wanted to dwell on, and doing it so abruptly, didn’t sit well with him. “...So, basically, you’re telling me to be in a relationship with Jude in your stead. Is that it?” His voice came out more cracked and scathing than he’d anticipated, though he couldn’t deny his slight irritation.

“No, of course not.” It seemed she’d expected this reaction, as she was back to her level-headed self. “I simply wish for you to follow your feelings. I know you’re not the type to act on them. If not for your sake or my sake—do it for Jude’s sake.”

“ _Jude’s_ sake—“ He stopped himself before he got too angry, heaving out a heavy sigh before meeting her eyes again. “Since when would this be for _his_ sake? Him being with me—the fuck, Milla? That would _ruin_ the kid—“

“Why are you so quick to toss yourself aside?” Her voice rose even louder than his, and the commanding tone made him clench his teeth. “Jude cares for you deeply, Alvin, even if he doesn’t realize it yet—it’s there. I’ve made such a habit of studying humans that I notice that which they themselves don’t even notice—just as I noticed your own feelings. Being with you is where he belongs.”

Her hearty words enticed a flicker of hope in his chest while at the same time encouraging his anger—in his confliction, he pressed his hand to his forehead. “Where he _belongs_? Do you realize what you’re saying, Milla? You’re his fucking everything—he’d do _anything_ for you. He follows you around like a damn puppy, even now. He’d never—“

Suddenly, there was a finger pressed against his mouth, and Alvin could do nothing but pause—he would’ve gone on, if not for his confusion. Milla simply looked at him with careful concern, though, and he relaxed somewhat. After a few seconds, she took her finger away and smiled.

“Say no more. You were right, before—he knows that I’m going to be gone, and he’s fully prepared for that. That’s why I’m here, talking to you right now. Because the only thing that would be holding you two back is your uncertainty of whether or not I would be okay with it. When Jude is uncertain of pursuing his budding feelings for you, you can tell him of this conversation we had. Of the ‘mission’ I gave you. Okay?”

There was a moment of silence, before Alvin laughed lightly, resignedly shaking his head. “You’re... really set on this, aren’t you?”

She met his smile with knowing eyes. “Well, I figured that you would be hesitant if I didn’t give you a push, as well. Alvin, you’ve changed greatly since our first meeting. I fully trust you with Jude—and I trust him with you, as well. Why, if you or Jude settled down with any other person, I’d have to evaluate them thoroughly, which would only waste more time and mana. This is the best possible solution to my worries about both of you.” Suddenly, her eyes turned slightly morose. “Is that selfish of me? I apologize—I do not wish to push either of you in an uncomfortable direction simply for my own benefit and peace of mind.”

“No, no, I don’t think it’s selfish at all... Very selfless, in fact...” There was another pause, with only the sound of the river flowing to break the silence, before Alvin’s smile fell again. “...You were wrong about one thing, though—you wouldn’t be the only thing holding us back. I mean... You know it’s going to take _me_ some time... right?” He hated even saying it—owning up to his own faults out loud was still something he had to get used to.

She didn’t seem perturbed, and caught him with that same assured look. “I know you will overcome that, though. I have faith in you, Alvin. You’ve earned it—I hope that knowledge quells at least some mistrust you still hold towards yourself. Besides, I’m sure Jude will wait for you—even if he doesn’t realize he’s waiting, he will.”

He sent her a grateful look, and she nodded slightly. Looking back to the water, he sighed, and a heavy feeling signifying closure suddenly settled in his chest. “...Don’t worry. No matter what happens from here, I... won’t let someone I love die or be hurt again. You have my word.”

She rested her hand on his arm in acknowledgement. “I know you won’t break it.”

The duo stood in silence for a while, before Alvin suddenly turned to her again. “I’m surprised at you, though. You know, I’ve never... entertained following this... Well, and I’ve never thought you would let it happen like this.”

Milla’s eyes sparkled again, and she smiled to him. “I only want what’s best for you two. I love all humans, but you two are most dear to me.”

He should’ve expected it, but it still caught him off guard, and he looked away. “...You don’t say?” Suddenly, her arms were around him, and he tensed slightly before hugging back. When they parted, she was still smiling.

“If we’ve come to an agreement, then I should turn in for now. I wouldn’t want to exhaust myself before our journey into Canaan.”

“...Yeah—I mean, we have. Sure thing.” He cursed how clumsily his words tumbled out. “...Goodnight.”

“You should retire soon as well—in fact, I insist. Come on. We can’t have anyone even slightly sleep-deprived in the days to come.” Her expression turned fierce again, as it so often did, and she dragged him by the arm back to the inn. He laughed slightly—this, he did see coming.

 

 

When they returned from Canaan, the air of stagnancy was no longer there—replaced by one of relief, mourning, and pride all at once. Because they did it—Ludger did it—and the tears cornering Elle’s eyes were tears of happiness. The first thing they did to celebrate, once Vera finished setting a date for them all to regroup at Spirius, was go out to eat, courtesy of Gaius. The meal was extravagant, but not as great as how they remembered Ludger’s cooking—which Leia made sure to mention, if only out of respect. It seemed right to do so, and everyone agreed.

They told Ludger’s landlady of the situation, and she, with tears in her eyes, allowed them as much time as needed to get things sorted out. That night, Gaius and Rowan departed for the time being, and Alvin, Jude, Leia, Elize, and Elle all stayed in Julius and Ludger’s apartment. It was a tight fit, but Leia volunteered to sleep on the couch, leaving Elize and Elle to Ludger’s room and Jude and Alvin to Julius’s. It was only fair, after all—when Elle got ready for bed, she started crying, and Elize was the best one at comforting her, they could already tell. It was unsettling to hear her sobs through the walls, but they quickly quieted down, and the others couldn’t help but feel proud of Elize.

Being in Julius’s room was also unsettling, to Alvin—it felt slightly wrong to sleep in the room of a dead man whom he barely knew. It was also rather unnerving to have to share his bed with Jude; they’d shared before during their travels, though, so it wasn’t overly tense. There still wasn’t much to say nevertheless; the weight of all that’d happened was just now crashing down on them, and not anyone had much to say at all since they’d arrived at the apartment.

When Jude was sitting on the edge of the bed in his pajamas and Alvin was just getting out of the bathroom in his own, he finally decided to break the silence.

“You know, Julius was probably my babysitter. Did I ever tell you about that?”

Jude looked up in surprise, his gold eyes wide and slightly puppy-ish, so much that Alvin couldn’t help but smirk.

“No, I don’t think you did. What do you mean, ‘probably’?”

“Well, in a fractured dimension, he was. When Leia and I went along with Ludger on one of his missions, we met him and found that out. I’m not entirely sure that was the case in the prime dimension, but I do remember my old babysitter humming that tune a lot, so it’s likely...” He moved closer to the bed, and Jude scooted to make room for him.

“Is that so? Wow, I wouldn’t have guessed... Do you remember anything about him?” Alvin was hyperaware of Jude’s skin pressed against his when they sat together and sighed, falling to the bed on his back as a means of escape.

“I don’t remember anything much, other than the humming... And the fact that he was a pretty good babysitter, I think... Never let us get into trouble...” He mused out loud, reminiscing in his mind a bit about his and Balan’s old escapades, only to be brought back to attention by Jude’s sudden, sharp inhalation. He raised himself slightly, leaning on his elbows. “...Jude?”

“Ah... Sorry,” he muttered, wiping at his face; Alvin saw the tears, and his faintly pink expression. “I don’t know why I’m...”

Alvin fully sat up, wrapping his arm around Jude’s shoulders as he had many times before. “...It’s alright, kid. I know.”

His words only seemed to elicit more tears from the younger boy, whose breath started hitching, and Alvin wrapped his other arm around him as well to bring him closer. He said to himself in his mind that no, it’s not because he _wants_ to be so close—he just doesn’t want to have his consoling skills beaten by Elize. Right.

“S-Sorry... I...” Jude’s apologies were muffled by Alvin’s shirt, and the older man sighed, bringing up his hand to card through the younger’s hair. The boy tilted his head and sniffed so he could speak clearly. “...I’m glad about what we did, and what we accomplished, but... I miss Ludger...”

“Me too... Me too...” Alvin wouldn’t let Jude notice the tears stinging his eyes as well, and simply held him tighter, eventually having to turn off the light but returning to hold Jude even as they lay. Neither seemed to mind when they woke up the next morning still in each other’s arms.

 

 

As difficult as it was, everything had to go back to normal at some point. Elle moved from person to person weekly, it seemed; they knew eventually only one would have to take custody of her, but didn’t want to rush it. Alvin, however, did like the idea of her staying with Driselle and Elize—in that case, Elize would truly become her big sister. Then again, the idea of Gaius taking her in and Elle becoming a princess of Rieze Maxia was also pretty funny, though he knew it wasn’t likely to happen.

As he saw Elle off at Sharilton, he expressed this sentiment to Elize, and she blushed in happiness, though she said she wasn’t sure of that yet. Alvin simply grinned and patted her head, taking a moment to pat Elle’s as well before heading off.

When he returned back to Elympios the next day, he knew something was amiss. Well, primarily because Balan told him firsthand, calling his GHS as soon as he got off the train.

That was what led him to letting himself in Jude’s apartment with the key loaned to him. He took a moment to look around—it was messy as always, papers and heavily notated books on every surface, and Alvin sighed to himself. Normally he would feel guilty for barging in unannounced, but when he saw Jude slumped over at his work desk, all traces of guilt vanished.

“Hey, kid...” Seeing that the boy was asleep, he shook him slightly by his shoulder, and Jude looked up at him with a sleepy mumble and half-lidded eyes. “How’re you feeling?”

“Uh...” Jude seemed to take a moment to collect himself, looking around at his desk and straightening in his chair. His back cracked, and he grimaced. “...M’fine. What are you doing here?”

Alvin’s eyes hardened, and he kept his hand on the younger’s shoulder. “Making sure you’re alright. Balan told me you’re overworking yourself already, and it’s only been what—three weeks! Jude, you should know by now that you have to take care of yourself.” Though he tried to stay calm, he couldn’t help his voice from rising somewhat.

Jude shook his head, already looking back to the papers on his desk. “I... missed a lot over the past few months, with having to help Ludger and Elle... I need to catch up on all the work I could’ve done. Besides, now I know the key to making spyrites safe... I can’t slow down now—not with so much progress starting to be made. It’s going great!” His eyes lit up when he spoke of the improvement, though Alvin could still see the bags hanging under them.

“Then you can make progress at a _normal_ , healthy rate. No need to rush to the finish line when you already know you’re going to win. Come on—I’m not letting you work anymore today.” With steadfast determination, Alvin moved his hand from Jude’s shoulder to his upper arm, pulling him to the nearby bedroom. Even so, Jude struggled to stay put, his mouth forming the beginnings of a pout.

“What? I’ll be fine, Alvin. Hold on—I was really close to finishing this—“

“No excuses. I promised M—... Balan that I’d make sure you get some rest today. You look pale, Jude.” With Alvin so serious, Jude figured he was better off doing as the man asked of him, and let himself be dragged to bed. Alvin noticed the shakiness in the boy’s legs as he sat on the edge of it, and his frown deepened, though Jude shook his head adamantly again.

“I’m... fine, Alvin.”

“You feel sick?” The older man suddenly pressed the palm of his hand against Jude’s forehead, and Jude blinked in a daze.

“...It’s more accurate if you use your lips or the back of your hand to check,” he mumbled softly, before his face flushed slightly. He’d said it without even thinking.

Alvin said nothing, and Jude was afraid he’d stepped out of line, but then felt something softer press against the same spot. He closed his eyes immediately, feeling his face turn hotter, and stayed still as a statue—his heart ran faster and faster until he felt like it was about to burst, but it was gone in an instant and Alvin drew his lips away.

“You’re warm... I’ll get you some water.” Alvin’s voice was distant and gravelly; Jude heard him walk away to the kitchen, and breathed in a deep breath once he was gone.

Usually, that wouldn’t affect him so much, he knew. But he was tired, probably sick, and alone with the man who always teased him about such things anyway—he figured he’d cut himself some slack. Besides, Alvin’s concern towards him made a fluttery feeling rise in his chest; he closed his eyes again in contentment.

“Don’t fall asleep on me, now.” Alvin’s harsh voice broke his trance, and he blinked himself awake—truthfully, he did feel as if he was going to fall asleep sitting up. Perhaps he was more exhausted than he’d tricked his body into believing after all.

“Ah... Thanks...” Jude took the glass of water from him gingerly and managed to gulp most of it down, having suddenly noticed how thirsty he was. Alvin watched him in silence before taking the glass back and pushing Jude farther onto the bed.

“Alright, get some sleep.” The man moved the covers over him—a half-assed job of tucking him in, quite frankly—and Jude grew concerned at how little he was speaking, how he refused to meet his eyes. Before Alvin was about to leave without another word, Jude caught onto his sleeve, halting him in his step.

“Wait...”

He tried to continue, but didn’t know how. Luckily, Alvin seemed to get the message, and hesitated before sitting down on the edge of the bed, still slightly turned away from the boy lying in it.

“...What do you need? Is there any medication around here to help stop the fever?” Jude shook his head at the useless questioning.

“No. I think I was just a little dehydrated. That’s all. I feel better now.”

“...Then what is it?” The man was tensed, his voice now carrying a hint of frustration, and Jude tightened his hold on his sleeve.

“I want you to stay with me, please?”

Alvin simply paused before making a noise of affirmation, nodding his head but still not looking at him. That wasn’t good enough for Jude.

“...Come lay down.” The strength in his voice broke slightly, letting a sliver of hopefulness trickle through, and Alvin sighed when he heard it. Silence stretched on for a while longer, and Jude was afraid the man would simply turn farther away and get up to leave—but eventually, he faced him and shrugged off his coat before settling down beside him.

“...Is this fine?” Alvin asked when he was fully situated, laying on his back and slightly facing him. Jude let out a soft-spoken yes and, after a minute or two, scooted himself closer, and closer, until his chin was practically leaning on Alvin’s shoulder. This close, he could see every miniscule detail of the man’s face, and how his eyes were hardened and set firmly ahead of him. Jude didn’t like it, and reached his hand to tilt them in his direction.

Looking at Jude, Alvin’s eyes softened, though he realized how close they were. “...Do you know what you’re doing, kid?”

Seeming to snap out of his daze with the murmured question, his cheeks tinted pink and the courage shining in his eyes was scared away. “...N-No, I guess not... Sor—“

His apology was cut off when a hand was placed near his jaw, tilting his head up again until a pair of lips were pressed against his own. Shocked and overwhelmed and happy all at once, his eyes closed and he tilted his head to deepen it, his hand reaching up to touch Alvin’s—as if he wanted to make sure this was real. Their lips moved against each other fluidly, Alvin eventually opening his mouth farther to catch Jude’s bottom lip against his teeth, and Jude let out a soft moan at the sensation.

Immediately, the older man moved his head back, breaking away from Jude’s flushed, vibrant expression.

“Shit... Shit, no...” Alvin muttered to himself, but his hand was still on Jude’s neck, and Jude caught it tightly, knowing the other wanted to pull away.

“Alvin... Don’t go just yet.”

“But I... Kid, you don’t know what you’re doing,” he mumbled, sounding as if he was saying it to himself, grinding his teeth in aggravation. He hadn’t expected this to come up so fast—so abruptly.

“I do. I promise,” was all Jude had to say, and Alvin eventually relaxed. When he did, Jude carefully moved himself back towards him, fitting himself perfectly against him and wrapping his arm around his middle. After a few minutes, Alvin held him back, mentally telling himself that it was okay. For the second time that month, they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

 

 

Alvin came to consciousness in a rather unfamiliar room, though he quickly realized it to be Jude’s—especially judging from the amount of textbooks and notebooks strewn about on every surface. Remembering last night’s events and noticing he was alone in the bed, he sighed loudly through his nose, pressing his hands against his face.

_Gotta get it together, Alvin. You haven’t completely fucked up yet, right? No matter what happens, things will work out. Jude isn’t a dumb kid, you know that._

No matter what mantra he created for himself inside his head, he knew it wouldn’t do much for his anxiety, so he decided to bear it and made his way slowly to the common room. What greeted his sight in the kitchen, though, was Jude—his hair an obvious bedhead—cooking up some eggs in sweats and a loose t-shirt. He cringed at how hard his heart thumped at the image.

Not sure what to say, he stood silently before Jude noticed him—his eyes widened for a split second before he stepped away from the stove, and Alvin stopped himself from stepping back instinctively.

“...Have a good sleep?” Jude seemed unsure of himself, his hand circling around his wrist in front of him, and Alvin’s eyes softened.

“...Yeah, I did. Not that it means much—you were supposed to be the one resting.” At his chiding tone, the corner of Jude’s mouth turned up, and his eyes brightened.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself... I mean, I’m sorry for... Um...” Then came one of those rare moments where Jude let his adolescence show rather than keep his adult façade, and Alvin’s stomach twisted.

“No—It’s alright, really. Look, you don’t have to worry about this. We can just... forget it ever happened, okay?” Alvin knew it was cowardly and practically felt himself pedaling five paces backwards, but he couldn’t stop the words from blurting out.

As soon as he’d said it, Jude suddenly looked at him angrily, and spoke as if he’d never been surer of anything in his life. “N-No! Why would you think I’d want to _forget,_ Alvin? Do _you_? Tell me if you do, please.”

Alvin looked down, his hand coming up to rub at his temples in agitation; however, Jude intercepted him and grabbed his arm, his eyes fierce. The older man sighed contemptuously, shaking him off.

“...What do you expect me to say, Jude?”

“The truth.”

Looking to him in shock at the instant answer, Alvin then shook his head and scoffed. “...Very funny.”

“I’m not trying to be funny. You’re... a good person, Alvin. I...” He suddenly looked down at his feet, face turning uncertain and slightly pink. Alvin’s mind was racing at his words, but he simply chuckled sardonically again.

“...Well, if you can’t even say it, then that’s all we need to know, isn’t it?” The words were scathing, and Alvin expected Jude to crawl further into his shell, but the boy met them with another frustrated glare.

“Quit treating me like such a child, Alvin! You’ve spoken before about how mature and adult I am, and now, when it comes to this, you take it back? Stop using that as an excuse to run away again!”

Alvin flinched, because he was right—of course he was. Jude was always right, when it came to him. The boy took his flinch as a sign that he’d hit too hard, and his glare disappeared.

“...Sorry, I didn’t mean to say it like that...”

Shaking his head, Alvin closed his eyes for a short moment before looking back at him. “No, you’re right... As always, you know me better than I know myself.” He let out a short, quiet laugh. “...This should be a sign to you if any, Jude. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing here.”

Jude took his hands in his own—a means of placating these thoughts that plagued him, he supposed—and smiled, the way only Jude Mathis could smile. It always made Alvin’s chest feel light and heavy at the same time, for different reasons.

“...Well, this is your place, isn’t it? Where you belong?” Those same words being thrown back at him time and time again surprised him, and he met Jude’s eyes uncertainly.

“...You sure?”

“We won’t know until we try, right?” When Alvin still seemed tentative, Jude sent him an assuring smile. “Don’t worry.”

“...Relationships and I don’t tend to mix well.”

“Ours is getting better each day, isn’t it?”

“Just ‘better’ doesn’t mean good.”

“Weren’t you the one who said to take progress at a healthy pace?"

Well, Alvin couldn’t argue with that. All he could do was nod finally, and not pull away when Jude pressed a timid kiss to his cheek.

 

 

When he finally told Jude of the ‘mission’ Milla gave him—they’re only two months into their relationship—Jude didn’t send him the surprised stare that he’d expected to receive. Rather, he blinked, taking some time to fully process the information.

“...Huh? Yeah, I guess it makes sense that she would do something like that.”

Alvin raised an eyebrow at such an unenthused response. They were at Helioborg, and Alvin understood that Jude was probably still distracted by work even as they spoke of Milla, but he’d still expected more than that.

“...Really? You aren’t that surprised? I was, a little—I mean, she basically asked me to go out with you.”

Jude blushed slightly at such a blunt summary, but looked up from his work. “...Yes, well, I _am_ surprised about what you talked about, don’t get me wrong. I’m just saying, I’m not surprised that she wouldn’t have a problem with me being together with someone else... and that she would want me to at all.”

Remembering Milla’s words about how she felt Jude might hold back in pursuing his feelings because of her, Alvin couldn’t help the glimmer of interest that flickered in his mind. It seemed that the Lord of Spirits couldn’t foresee Jude’s actions as well as she thought she could. “...Did she talk to you about it?”

“No, but... That’s just how Milla is. I had no doubts that she would want this for me...” He brushed his hand through his hair bashfully. “...Although, I am relieved to know for certain that she’s... happy about it.”

Alvin paused before smirking and walking closer to the other, putting his arm around him. “Nice to know you’re so in tune with her. Don’t tell me you still have a crush on Mama Milla, hm?” His tone was teasing, but Jude quickly looked up to him with wide eyes.

“What? Don’t be silly, Alvin! Sure, Milla is special to me, but _you’re—_ you’re my... my...” Alvin raised an eyebrow slightly at the boy’s fidgeting—however, they got interrupted before Jude could finish.

“Now, Jude, we don’t need you announcing your relationship with my cousin to the world every single day—you have something important to work on, yes?”

“B-Balan!” Jude flushed brightly when the amused scientist teasingly patted him on the back, simultaneously raising his eyebrows at Alvin, to which the merchant replied with a wink and a smirk.

He took that as his cue to leave though, and squeezed Jude around the shoulders before letting go. “Well, you heard the man. I’ll catch up with you tomorrow. You’re coming to my apartment, yeah?”

Still frazzled, Jude blinked before looking to him—Alvin had to admit, the embarrassed face was a good look for him. “I—Yeah, I am... I’ll pick up Elle from Rowan, before then...”

“Nice.” Alvin grinned, pressing a chaste goodbye-kiss to Jude’s lips before heading out.

He couldn’t thank Milla enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I planned on there being smut in here but it wasn't right at all so I'll probably just write another fic for that haha...
> 
> (Sorry about this maybe being written badly, I wrote it impulsively in all of a day and a half? and during school?)
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading! <3


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